Cleaning out my closet

Over a year ago now, I finally took the leap of faith and came running out of the closet. Yes, its true. I'm gay. For some, this isn't a surprise. Personally, admitting it to myself was kinda a "no shit" moment in life. It's just kinda something I've always known. I can go on and make up excuses about how I never really had guy friends growing up blah blah blah...but the truth of the matter is I just like girls.

I started sticking my foot out the closet door to a very small group of people when I was 17. Slowly but surely over text messages, facebook, and a few awkward face to face conversations I managed to tell at least my close friends. And of course, through osmosis and word of mouth, more and more people started to find out. The one person that managed never to get this carrier pigeon of news was my mom. My mom and I are very close, but I just couldn't get the nerve to tell her. It wasn't until I started dating my current girlfriend that she finally found out. Lets just say the situation wasn't ideal.

I had jumped on a flight to California to see my best friend two summers ago. I was only going to be there for about 48 hrs and was beyond excited. On the last night of the trip, I had been texting my mom about travels plans when I received a message that made my heart stop...

"Is there something more going on between you and Kiersten?"

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm??? No? I couldn't lie to my mom but couldn't have this be happening over text message a thousand miles away!  I told her we'd talk about it when I got back. I had planned to tell her sooner rather than later. ..I really did.  I was going to write her a letter,  have every word thought out, and just gently let her down into it.  Nope.  I got called out  by my mom over a text message. 

When I returned, we had a great chat about it, hugged it out and moved on with life (For the record, my mom is the best). I had to ask her one thing though. How did she not know....
Lets see:
-I never went to any dances in high school
-I would have rather wore boy jeans than girls
-I sit with my legs wide open
-I have broader shoulders then some dudes
-I always talked about girls
-I wanted to be a mail lady growing up (ok I don't know how much relivance this has but I'm convinced there is a correlation)
I felt I was giving her warning signs my entire life. I feel like even my Great Aunt kinda knew before my mom or I did because for Christmas, when I was twelve or thirteen, she gave me a rainbow blanket.

I think I've come a long way since the days I started wondering why I thought the oldest sister from Seventh Heaven way hott.This past summer I attended mt first pride parade. I proudly ran around with a rainbow flag around my neck high fiving just about anyone in sight. I had the time of my life and would have never been about to have that expirence if I wouldn't have taken that leap of faith.  More importantly, I probably wouldn't have met the girl that has taken my heart.

The moral of the story is that the closet was a stuffy place and I'm glad I decided to come running out of it rainbow flag and all :)